I haven’t written a blog post in almost nine months. In all honesty I haven’t really written anything in the last nine months. Lately I’ve found myself using the excuse that I was too busy to write for fun, that being a full time student, working 20+ hours a week and trying to have a social life didn’t leave a lot of time for writing. Sure, in that time I wrote papers for classes and articles for work and the school newspaper but, I wasn’t writing because it was what I enjoyed. I stopped writing for me.
If I’m being 100% honest I stopped enjoying writing over the last nine months. I was losing my passion. Every time I picked up my pen, or opened my blog, I would stair at a blank page for hours. Nothing would come out. I had so much to say but I couldn’t find the words to communicate it.
This past year was a hard one. I questioned a lot about myself, I found out who my true friends were, I had personal ups and personal downs. Usually to get through all of this, I would blog or journal. I wasn’t able to do that this year, however, due to my year long writers hold.
I felt lost.
I felt overwhelmed.
I felt like the last four years were wroth nothing.
It didn’t help when the job rejections started pooling in. Or when I realized a job in journalism wasn’t the right path for me at this time. Everything I had planned out for myself was falling apart and I didn’t know how to handle it. So, I stopped writing. I kept all my emotions and ideas buried inside.
That was until today, when I realized that I had lost a part of myself when I stopped writing. Writing has been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember. I was the child who didn’t know how to write but would still ‘interview’ family members and scribble on paper pretending to write their story. I was the child that filled endless notebooks with random words and thoughts of the day because I could. I never left the house without a pen, paper, and a good book.
I wan’t to be that person again. So, I’ve decided to try and write a blog post a week…now this might take a while to actually do, but I hope to get to that point. I hope to write about anything and everything that comes to my mind. I just want to get back into writing.
And this is my first attempt!